What Is a Living Will? Legal Advice You Need
Let’s talk about something people often avoid but shouldn’t—living wills. I remember the first time I heard about a living will. I was in my mid-30s, and a friend brought it up over coffee. At first, I thought they were talking about a regular will—the one you use to decide who gets your stuff after you pass. But no, a living will is a completely different ball game. It’s about your medical care, not your belongings, and it’s for when you’re alive but unable to make decisions for yourself. It’s one of those things you don’t think you need—until you do.
A living will is a legal document where you outline your preferences for medical treatments in situations where you can’t speak for yourself. Imagine being in a coma or unable to communicate after a severe accident. Would you want life support? Feeding tubes? Pain relief at any cost? These are heavy questions, and a living will is your way of answering them in advance.
Why You Need One
I used to think a living will was something only older people needed. Then, I read a story about a young woman who had a brain aneurysm at 32. She hadn’t planned for something like that—who does at 32? Her family didn’t know what to do, and it caused so much stress and disagreement. That hit me hard. It’s not about age; it’s about preparedness.
A living will also protects your loved ones. It spares them the guilt and stress of making impossible decisions. Trust me, no one wants to guess whether you’d want to stay on life support or be let go peacefully.
What Should Be Included?
When drafting a living will, you’ll need to think through some critical decisions:
- Life-sustaining treatments: Do you want to be on a ventilator or have CPR performed?
- Feeding and hydration: Would you want a feeding tube if you couldn’t eat?
- Pain management: Are you okay with strong painkillers even if they might shorten your life?
I’ll admit, when I worked on my own living will, I found these decisions incredibly hard. I kept asking myself, What if I change my mind? That’s the beauty of a living will—you can update it anytime as your feelings or circumstances change.
How to Create One
You don’t need a lawyer to create a living will, but I highly recommend consulting one if you can afford it. They’ll make sure it complies with your state’s laws, which can vary. I used an online service the first time, but later had a lawyer review it. Turns out, I had missed a couple of key details!
If hiring a lawyer isn’t an option, there are free or low-cost templates available online. Just make sure the one you use is specific to your state. After you’ve drafted the document, you’ll typically need to have it signed in front of witnesses or notarized.
Where to Keep It
Once your living will is done, don’t just toss it in a drawer and forget about it. Make sure your loved ones know it exists and where to find it. I keep mine in a folder with other important documents, and I gave a copy to my spouse and my healthcare proxy (more on that in a second).
Bonus Tip: Assign a Healthcare Proxy
A living will is only part of the puzzle. You’ll also want to assign a healthcare proxy—a person you trust to make decisions for you if you’re unable to. Think of this person as your spokesperson. You can name anyone, but choose someone who understands your wishes and won’t crumble under pressure.
Final Thoughts
A living will might feel overwhelming or even morbid to think about, but it’s one of the most compassionate things you can do for yourself and your loved ones. It’s not about giving up—it’s about control and peace of mind.
So, if you’ve been putting this off, maybe today’s the day to start. Grab a cup of coffee, sit down with someone you trust, and start drafting. You’ll feel a lot better once it’s done—I know I did.